I guess I’m fine
I’m always fine
When your warm hand slipped out of mine after an entire life of holding on and became cold, when I didn’t want to live anymore, they told me, don’t be like this
You’ll be fine soon they said, so I was fine
I think it’s been so long since you’ve gone that I should feel fine all the time. But to be honest, everything feels lacking, a bit sub-par
I eat all the same things we used to but all of it tastes a little bit different you know, like its missing some salt
When I look up at the sky, I sometimes see your face in an odd shaped cloud floating by. That does make me feel better for a while
No matter how many times I make your side of the bed, it never seems right. I think I mess it up myself, just so that it can look like you’ve slept in it
I try to keep myself busy but ever so often, silly things, little things flood my head with you,
A smile I see yours in, someone slurping tea like you did, a nervous hand tapping a table that used to drive me insane
Once I had to berate myself quite severely, when I saw your rusted razor and I cried for days
Don’t worry I’m better now
I have to feel better don’t I? There’s no choice
I try and go for long walks but lately I’ve been forgetting the way back home so I try not going too far
I go to parties but I feel even lonelier sitting all by myself in a corner of the room
I can understand. I don’t blame them. I don’t hear too well and have nothing much to talk about either
So you see? I’m living my life. It’s not much of a life without you, but I live it.
I always lay out an extra plate for you, every-day. It looks empty, just as I feel inside, but I know that one day we will hold hands again
And then I shall truly, truly be fine
February 13, 2018 -
So beautiful, Didi 🙂
February 13, 2018 -
Thank you Gims:-)