I’m guilty
Of occlusion, of forced amnesia and feigning the life of another
For in that life, I feel no loss
How can you lose someone you never had
You are then a pretty, cheery neighbour who should have lived longer. Poor thing
Made of clucks, commiserations and tepid empathy
That’s my constant endeavour now
To forget you
But I’ve lost this war before the battle blueprints were laid out
Before the cavalry of tears marched out with belligerence
Like the rain that wiggled into a reluctant rivulet and made a home in a dry never land
A resilient little bud that breached the limits of its world for one gulp of air
A shiver on a warm day
A touch, an embrace, a spice, a smile, a toothbrush, a lipstick, a speedometer and a long drive
And sometimes like an indulgent cloudburst that has no origins and no future
You drench me
Disarm me
And just like the night you blew away, you wrap me in your warmth and whisper in my ear to stop fighting, to stop forgetting
To let you in and to let myself out