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richasmukherjee.com

love, laughter, pain, joy, life and its lessons, one word at a time

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Aeging parents

A grand love


She ran to you and nuzzled her nose in between your knees, shutting the world out.

You caressed the fluffy tuft of hair on her head. She looked up and gave you that smile.

The smile that’s reserved only for you.

You smiled back and shut out the world that existed beyond the both of you.

I wanted to lock this moment in my head and throw the keys away.

So far away, into the depths of the ocean,

Where no one could touch this memory, nothing could change this moment.

Not age, not distance, not the cruel talons of time.

I’ve looked deep into those small twinkling starry eyes many times.

When they open, they search for you till they can find that old familiar figure extending an unwavering hand that is always searching for hers.

When they become heavy with sleep, they push and fight to just drink in one last smile , one last picture of you.

When they dream, it’s always a sunny day where a head full of silver and a tiny black one, Bob up and down along the beach, holding hands and exchanging fantastical tales and silly jokes with equal fervour.

The dreams have travelled a lifetime now, from my eyes to hers.

But the common and the constant is you.

I will never know your secret games, your endless conversations, your special communication even when no words are spoken.

But there is one corner of my heart which will forever be lit up with the memories that I have locked away.

Of an old man and a little girl and their little world.

Of an old man and a tree

image

You laughed through the whole episode.
“Silly old man!” You said.
With your usual ,loud ,uproarious guffawing, miles ahead of a laugh.
Everyone saw the small bloody gash, that the traitor branch outside made on your head.
The one that your now often tottering feet, led you into.
Everyone saw the blood being wiped away. Gone forgotten, done with.
I saw much more. In a single flash.
I saw the wispy white hair, that are so carefully combed across your head, the ones that are tenacious and still stand.
I saw the network of veins, so green, so stark now, against your pale white skin.
I saw the denture, wide and expansive, holding tales from the wonder years.
I saw the shaking cotton grasped in your shaking fingers, now reaching, now missing the target till my fingers closed around yours and you laughed again.
I wish I hadn’t seen this much.
Everyday I shake my head thinking nothing can change, nothing will, I won’t let it.
Everyday I watch you sleep, your hands and feet jerking animatedly, looking so agitated but I know you’re dreaming of something peaceful.
And the days when I feel truly anxious, I turn into a mad scientist.
I imagine that we have travelled back in time, I have managed to protect you in my womb.
Far from falling hair, creaking bones, aches, pains, gashes, far far far away.
And here I will keep you safe, for you are my life, unto eternity.

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